Thursday, April 2, 2009

Civil to Redneck and back again

Civil to Redneck in ten days?

Ok so its was spring break for the students of Calgary which means Jordan heads north to Grandma's house and his place of birth. There are three of Jordan's favorite things ...Grandma, a big lake and three BEST friends.
Each time he travels north he gets to re-invent his body shape, his lifestyle and he gets special time with his special people in our world.
However after ten days of the northern experience I wonder if my boy is torn between the civil city life or just being a redneck who doesn't gives a shit.

In the city we have sports and daily routines structured down to the minute. You can find all sorts of great things to partake in within the city but the enjoyment is at a certain place, a certain time and with a certain group. Each event in the city is scheduled according to age, ability and status(kid,single,partnered, family) Pre planning is for everything in the city life >>rollerskating, wall climbing, ice time, sporting events,dancing, movies..always considering what you want to do, how much time you have and with who. Make sure you keep your card handy that shows your age, status and ability as to verify that you are allowed to partake in this evenings events:-0

The city brings eating out a fashion statement what did you have tonight sushi, pasta or Greek but it doesn't end there the next question is from where?? You would think its because people are curious to find out if they want to give that place's cuisine a try..but really its not they are checking you up and down just to see if you are following a city standards. .
Jordan follows these trends quite naturally, food is at the top of his list and if he can eat at the best restaurant in town for 30dollars a plate he is all over it. He wants to be a chief when he grows up but personally I think he will be a critic because his fussiness for extremely good food is evident when he orders bison or calamari instead of chicken and bread sticks. but at home or in grandma's house will eat chicken and break sticks by the platefull..


Now Jordan is a typical kid and gives a little fight when it coms to short clean hair cuts and collars shirts but even he will be first to tell you that some places you just need to *spiff it up a bit*

so off to the north of Alberta goes the kid in his city style. I don't send his flames Jersey nor do I send his trendy hiking boots..keep it simple mommy you grew up in small town AB and you know you have a little red neck in ya so keep the trendy stuff at home in Calgary.

After ten days our traveler is home with story's of his life but one look at him and you know he forgot all about *spiffing it up* He walks off the bus loaded with great gifts from grandma, a filled in body shape with butt crack and a MULLET!! what the heck.....he is talking non stop and I can't even ask about this haircut...he is talking about chasing gophers, pellet guns, dead birds, dogs and cats eating dead things, deep fried Chinese food buffet style and making a tunnel in a snow bank. Non-stop this kid rattles on about everything you possibly could only get outside the city, on the farm with the boys you call "dude"
You have sent your child to his place of birth where friends are family, where the bush of Alberta allow boys to be boys...... butts hanging out, pants tucked in their boots and long hair to keep their necks warm!! Boys that get to be loud, get dirty, talk BS and curse like the men.

Finally he slows down to ask us where's the ride and we inform him we are walking ..comment "figures"
next quesiton "Whats for supper"
....now so far we can see this kid is not wasting away and in 10mins he has told us about his last three meals all equating to more food then his father, myself and each of our three best friends can eat in a day but sure enough he checking out the menu ...
The question is answer and he gives an nod of acceptance.

At supper he only eats the fresh beans on his plate says he is full and states "not to worry about this grandma love because both daddy and you mommy eat foods that promote child starvation."


AS the non stop chatting continues into the next day I find out the mullet is not exactly what he indended but after I fix the mullet he starts to struts around the condo as if a runnway modle saying "this will be just fine as I'm civil in the city"


He knows our life here so it takes him no time at all to start making plans for the scheduled things we do like hiking, shopping and of course eating out; with sushi at the top of his list!!

Still a few days into his story telling and great commetary of life, I suggest he wear his Flames Jersey or a collared shirt to school..that encourages the question "Whats the occasion mommy?" .
Answer: "nothing much"
which then gets a response of "well I guess its time to civil up again so I will go with the collared shirt"
This matter of fact comment after a 5minute long conversation about his last bathroom deposit and falling asleep on the toilet at 2am!!

Sure kid .... its time Civil up a bit!!


Enjoy your day..

Monday, March 30, 2009

As the hunted...

Girls follow your heart but really honestly with out a doubt listen to those instincts, gut feelings, little voices inside you that tell you the truth even when you are sure logic is saying otherwise.

"If you have to ask the questions then you already know the answers"

See the opposite sex is a master at making everything sound logical.....we girls can make everything sound emotional ..it doesn't matter if its a proven math equation, a receipt or instructions for a IKEA chair the minute it comes out of our mouths in our own words it no longer is anything but emotion.

And men can take the same instructions and put a solid defence why step 6 should come before step 2. .... listen to them, listen to your heart, read the instructions but sensor with your gut. If your gut says 2 comes before 6 then go figure its probably right.



so on my travels I have come across a few types of guys..

There is the player who listen to no-one but his water stick and which way its pointing..up, down and to you..if its up you are his next dig, if its down your safe to know that he won't be digging for a prize anytime in the next minute.

There is the player who plays a big game, knows every trick in the book, he watches, talks big, chases many and forgets your name but when stuck in a dark corner with no other players listening has some moral strength.

There is the quite guy in the corner now this guy can also be the creepy guy or the shy guy or the guy who just figures good things come who wait. It takes some good observation to figure out which he is but girls your gut will tell you right away... don't let silly things like logic and emotional kindness add their two cents.....stick with your gut!!

Now the true player will have a *friend card* watch out for this guy, he is a sly one, knows his prey well and sneaks in when your not paying attention. There are a few options for this player as he could come at you with straight on being *honest* or just always be there for the fix it make you feel better moments. Your gut will tell you right away when someone has converted friend to play with all your other instincts screaming at you RUN and all your emotions will be screaming **ah this is perfect* all the male logic around will be explaining how this makes great sense....wrong wrong wrong..if your friend decided on this approach then don't wait for the duck to start quacking...if its a feathered bird with web feet that walks like a duck then just don't wait for it to quack..its a duck and do just that DUCK!!

The thing to remember is all guys have these games and they will play which ever game they can use to hold your attention with the best outcome for them......like all good sport hunters they pick out the plays, tools and style at first approach....immediately...as they get better hunting skills they get better at their plays.

I respect the game even encourage the game because well ladies lets be honest we want to see all the tricks and all the plays before we make any big plans...Its a good game its called courtship but its wise to say it shouldn't have you sitting in court.

BUT some how we have heard far to many profess that *I can change him* give me a break I have lived long enough and done my fair share of *changing* *growing* and *trying to change* to let you even think for a minute that anyone is going to change into exactly what you want them to be.......and if there is any changing to do its probably a long long multiple year battle for them and everyone else around them.....just ask my B.F. all about that; long long time for this gal to do any changing.....If by the stroke of luck you have been apprivy to some absolute root of the core changes its because that person was already well on their way to having those desires and qualities. Check their path behind them;see who got to be in the path of distruction all those days of struggle.....Be certain this change that actually holds and sticks with them for life had to be with-in them, all about them and only for them; not for God, not for you(crushing I know but you can only do so much) and certainly not for a little bit of muffin....those reasons promote temperary changes the first babysets of the long long path towards core desires and qualities...

Its wise to say; If you don't like what you see this very second then keep moving because *you can't change it, fix it or love it to any better of bread then it is right now ... If you like this bread just as it is then stay put but don't be upset if it never sweetens.


Check it for certain gut says it all....

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I can't share our Green Stories....but!!!

St Patrick's day!!

Yesterday was green beer day and although I am not a huge fan of draft beer I am a huge fan of any opportunity to go out and be silly.

Who was the main drinking team..... one American girl who is used to big parades, big parties and big hats, One midlife gal whose goal is to keep life easy and one cheery gal who always has a young cutie chasing her. Add a few of the manly friends rotating through the festivities for back up and we have a three gal drinking team with serious stamina.


When did we start?? Started early; to ensure we got the best seat in the house, catched the lunch crowd with plans not to leave till all beer is drank. The greatest thing about starting early is you seek out strange bonds with those others that also have plans to stay for the long haul. Work can be done from a bar stool with a pint of green beer, beer napkins for notepads and good Irish music playing in the back ground. What can't be done is the jig without at least a pint of beer in ya!! Have you noticed that getting Jiggy is so much easier once you have had some rocket fuel.

Who did we know?? The object of Irish drinking is to get to know EVERYONE that travels through for a beer. We don't care if you are tall, short, skinny,young or old; have green hair, wear a unitard, have strange hats or have half closed eye lids we meet you, raised a glass and talk of good times to come.
Our stories are many but you would have to ask a green wig for the full evening events as I think it got the full tour...

If you missed out on yesterdays shenanigans I can only share with you that the three gals of drinking came close to meeting everyone that traveled through the English pub ,that we stayed for 11 hours of enjoyment and totaly am proud to say we walked out of there as good drinking Irishmen....we drank, we sang and we danced....heads held high, smiles on with only friends left behind.

The wig made it home, the heads are big and the memories once again are Calgary made.

Enjoy and don't forget to smile

Friday, March 13, 2009

so you blurted it out and now what??

I blurted out the oddest of things yesterday..... I am sure that I have been in that state longer then I can even remember.....heck I had a crisis about my world being lost when my cell phone died so how could I just blurt out this bold statement.....I always needed more, am in search for more and was still am motivated by more. Now somehow in a blink of a eye I said the shocking of all things for a mid-life single female...

so shocking I became silent YES SILENT!!! and ask my GF if I honestly just said that out loud!!!

I said




brace for it


* I am not lonely; my life isn't lonely its just not complete but lonely isn't the reason its not complete....***


what the heck was I smoking...did I really say that!!!

my next thought.....OH LORD you are DOOMED!!!! you are no longer living as a locked away princesses in her dungeon thus a prince isn't going to come looking to rescue you!!! DOOMED I say..tell me what fairy tail doesn't have a princesses being saved.... DOOMED


HUMMM since I live in the most progressive time of humans existence and I live in one of the most free countries I am thinking I should have a shot at finding completeness without being rescued.........right???

really right???



please ladies right???



so this new realisation and the fact that I am independent individual really might pose a problem for the opposite sex....although really I don't find myself that independent I think I am faking it...lol... I am sure I could be faking it so I don't get a sore butt when I fall off the spinning world....because really I hate bruising my tail bone and my heart...


I think to my own parenting of a little boy and put this thought out there Does society put unknown, unsaid expectations on boys to suck it up and take care of your sister.
Watch over the girls and make sure they don't scrap their knees or always let a girl go throw doors first; its polite. In other words boys should watch over, take care and shelter girls to be considered good and polite and girls that *take care* of themselves always get a label. Tom Boy when they are young, Bitch when they get older and then what crone?? ...OH that's a scary thought.....

What does that really do for us who are kind, gentle, caring individuals that have so much to give but also can stand on their own. I don't want to do life without it being complete but I am not going to cry over spilt milk...I have a large group of friends that shelter me as well I do my best to shelter them. We chat regularly and over all have relationships that work.....I am a person that has life long friends and means it...if you have hit that spot with me you are valued enough for me to respect your future and continue to love you.

However does this new me and my age mean I won't get to enjoy that special someone who keeps the other side of the bed warm, snuggles with me on the couch to watch sports or holds my heart???

No wonder people get dogs but I have been there done that and I am very certain I prefer the two legged version.....


Is this what my friend meant when she answered a certain random question....
What is your special talent? "staying single" (the best answer I have ever heard)
OH NO I didn't think moving to be more a balanced me would mean I would learn a new talent...I dont' think I want this talent.....lol!!


Oh wait a minute...hold the bus.... I remember I still have plenty insecurities to be rescued from..........whew......

OK prince charming please keep riding your horse my direction.

Smile

Monday, March 9, 2009

Spontaneous with a kid and dog requires planning

Doing something spontaneous with a kid and a dog require planning....

YEP... spontaneous and planning words that shouldn't be used in the same sentence..

How can it be!!! Jordan and I have proved it this weekend; we know that we can now decide to jump in the truck and drive with-in 60mins of saying GO!!.

This week Jordan had started to make side comments about needing more *mommy* time, it just so happens that he has a new routine and adjustments have happened. I have just let them be as he has been known to resist change, is a bit of a snuggle bug and he also missed his special spoiled all alone time with grandma. Take these things into consideration and I have just let him grow and kept my mommy distance.

However it was time to make sure he knew he was heard so on Friday I picked up Jordan early set out to have some quality short kid time. We started to chit chat about games, TV, friends, family and ofcourse the same discussion on what to do, how do you think the weather will be, what do you feel like..you know same sort of get you no-where frustrating conversation we all have just before the weekend arrives...

One should know that after devourering a big burger and fries I require a NAP as my body shuts down from warm greece...YUM...a beer and a nap is how the rest of the day played out Till bright and early Saturday morning; I was now ready to listen to Jordan's non stop chattering....the sun was out for the second day in a row framing in our mountains with clear bright morning sky ...who can say no to that!?

so taking the urge to duck out of dodge, the words of a short guy and the weather we decided to head for the mountains with NO SET PLANS...and this is where spontaneous meets organized.

Since we planned on being "unplanned" for the day I had to pack for the possible...every possible idea that came up I needed to load the truck for.

IDEA:Get in the truck till we stop

POSSIBLE ATTRACTIONS: Hiking, snow boarding/skiing,skating, hotel with swimming pool,pub and/or hot tub, shopping, eating lots of eating:-)

TIME TO DECIDE:not going to till we hit the road and get to the next town!!

TIME TO GET LOADED: ONE hour!! 60mins!! In a Jiffy!! Emergency Exist get out of the city or you will explode!!!

As some of you may know I am organized by Rubbermaid container, I have a container for winter gear, sports gear(summer and winter), dog gear, shoes, crafts, computer stuff, old cloths by size, cleaning supplies and even a make-up girlie bucket.... I keep mostly everything organized the best I can via 10dollar rubber maid containers that are strategical stacked in closets...just so you know this is where obsessive compulsive behavior comes in handy..

Organized, Spontaneous & Planning all in one sentence!!!

I grab the winter cloths bucket, the day hiking pack conveniently loaded and ready at all times:-), toss a few things in the over night bag as does Jordan, grab the winter gear bucket with snow board,skates, helmets and the dog who has two sleeping bags, leashes and baggies always loaded in the truck....
OF course don't forget the just filled bank card and to stop at the first ESSO we see. There we stock up on fuel, the standard 4 types of travel and sport drinks, some lunch possibles and a few treats...all way to much garbage but always the same each time we attempt to dodged home.

As we head out to the hwy a soft sigh fills the truck, the dog is already nestled down into her comforter with little light snores, I turn off the phone,turn up some good music and we leave the city behind with our eye on the price...Snow capped Mountains kissed by a perfect March sun.

soon we are out in the foothills and conversation leads to where are we stopping and what should we do when we get there...now that our heads are cleared from the city buzz and all the techno gadgets within our home we are free to let our minds wonder and let spontaneous idea's come forth.



Its decided a short hike above Canmore, the museum, some shopping and then food. With the possibility depending on weather, time of day and how we *feel* a overnight at the Lodge....its really not something we need to do but we leave the door open just in case the day melts away on us so we don't have to rush think ahead or change our fantastic get out of dodge day.

and this is how you can be spontaneous, with a kid, a dog and a few buckets......

Hope you enjoyed yours...Cheers to all my friends!!

Friday, March 6, 2009

The world is spinning....STOP

well what a week brings...

A weekend of average.....nothing exceptionally spectacular except to say I am blessed to find myself surrounded by great friends and family but still no coat hook to hang my heart. It always seems possible for a moment but the doors get closed about as fast as I try to peek in.
This is a normal occurrence for most of us that travel this spinning world of earth. Its round and round and round we go till one day someone stops us and we are so excited to see the world in still that we fall down and declare love.
hummmm is that really so??? Doesn't the world just start spinning again as you get up to introduce yourself? I have been in love, deep love and still have love but my heart still is asking for the world to stop.

So my average weekend turned into a HOLY CRAP Monday morning. Mondays always sneak up on us and slam us into a reality that sardines ride transit cars, mice build cities and procreation means demanding preteens!

As we are all aware living and working in Calgary right now is a ride not for the weak at heart...we have had the easy "I love you lifestyle" here in Calgary but that has all disappeared to a fond memory as we spy around corners, hide under desks and refuse to pick up our boss's phone calls.

HR is working over time again but this time its as heart breakers. Have you questioned why you are not in HR? It occurred to me that HR is busy when the work is steady and again busy when the work drys up..these people have the right idea "Always be needed!!!"

So as I was saying Monday morning left my spinning world in a stand still..it stopped (be carefull what you wish for) and I found myself down but not to declare some idea of love but to check the floor to see if it had any spare change, crumbs of jobs or just to announce I have been hit again with the word Lay off or in other words we are sinking, we are tossing you over board but first can we have your life jacket?

As my week progressed I got a special inside look at just how much parking is available when 30% of the work force has been sent home. Did you know that there really has been parking on the street in front of buildings all these years!! And that the plus 15 has available sitting areas!! Talk about discoveries!!! I am the first to admit I continued to go downtown to find work, see just how many people are hiding in the suburbs jobless and to find pubs with drink specials. Its a known fact that during hard times boose sales remain steady while food spending go down...hahaha I believe this as my body reminded me that living on a liquid diet isn't going to keep me in shape for phone stalking..

Because just like any fairy tale girl when you are jobless you are still WAITING for a call....stalking your phone wondering if it will ring...waiting waiting waiting..... you are waiting for that one special HR person to call you. Find your number stuffed in the bottom of a desk pocket or lost folder on their /c drive. But call, find my number and call!!

My plan do my budget, spam my resume to every possible email, fax number, warm body I can find, and have a strong talk with God..."Listen here you have three weeks to open some doors otherwise you will find me right where you left me naked,screaming bloody murder and looking at my mother""""



Have a great weekend everyone!!

Keep your chin up and your phone handy!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Intervention Needed!!

Well this morning I had the crisis…bigger then most things not as bad as some..but my crisis was right up there with crap like; having a flat tire in the middle of nowhere, like crawling into bed after someone ate crackers in it, like going to eat ice cream but the last person put a empty container back in the freezer!! My crisis was so annoying that it almost made me crabby worse yet I had no-one to cry at or blame it on!!! No wonder the customer service line for business has a high turn over rate. There are millions of people alone with cold square pieces of technology and usually when it fails its likely there is NO_ONE to blame but the person holding onto the sexy techno gadget!!. That’s why we call out to customer service basically its to see if they can console our panicking hearts in the world of instant gratification.


So you ask what piece of technology am I so attached to that it would put me past bitchy straight to OH HELL I’m not sure I can breath mode…..my phone!!! Yep my complete contact to the outside world and when I say outside world I mean away from my own spinning head of thoughts……. As I seriously fight with my phone to turn on and give me its warm buzz, panic of what if’s flash through my head… ….eeksss….I’m now cursing “work damit work!!” Then onto the begging “ok please turn on just once then I will retrieve my forever lost data and you can nap…please phone please”…and well now after my talk with customer service from a land line and the realities of my cell phone I am onto a dear john letter…

“ Dear phone I cherished you, I took you every where even let you in on my secrets but in the end you shut down, broke down and went dark so I am moving on...so sorry but I have found out you are replaceable; rest in peace dear phone….. the end”

My phone is the source of way more pleasure and instant gratification then should be possible from an 111grams of black cold metal. But lets remember as children we all had a little something we packed around like a booboo, teddy or must have pillow, then when we became teenagers it was our best friend or our special fussy binder, a book, shoes or something we just couldn’t *live without* and well now as an adult it is MY PHONE. I’m thinking I might have a relationship with my phone it vibrates often enough that I feel warm and fuzzy, it chimes a favorite tune when it hears a friend call and it talks to me when I want it too. It has a list of my life in it, my calendar and instant photos of my exceptional monster..Jordan. All in all my phone and probably yours has become just like a teddy of childhood days.

All day I can see if a techno junky like myself has called texted or email..all day every day I walk around with my sleek dark piece of technology in my pocket close at hand ready to be handled or spoken to. So as a adult have we really left the world of childhood behind where we rely on invisible friends, special toys and instant gratification….Oh dam its about to be said as a single female pushing mid- life I haven’t grown up and my current partner is my phone!!!

HELP call for an INTERVENTION!!!


I prefer the real thing I love talking and really I love talking to you with you my friends...vibrations not needed.



Don't forget to laugh and smile at your own adventures!! :-)