I blurted out the oddest of things yesterday..... I am sure that I have been in that state longer then I can even remember.....heck I had a crisis about my world being lost when my cell phone died so how could I just blurt out this bold statement.....I always needed more, am in search for more and was still am motivated by more. Now somehow in a blink of a eye I said the shocking of all things for a mid-life single female...
so shocking I became silent YES SILENT!!! and ask my GF if I honestly just said that out loud!!!
I said
brace for it
* I am not lonely; my life isn't lonely its just not complete but lonely isn't the reason its not complete....***
what the heck was I smoking...did I really say that!!!
my next thought.....OH LORD you are DOOMED!!!! you are no longer living as a locked away princesses in her dungeon thus a prince isn't going to come looking to rescue you!!! DOOMED I say..tell me what fairy tail doesn't have a princesses being saved.... DOOMED
HUMMM since I live in the most progressive time of humans existence and I live in one of the most free countries I am thinking I should have a shot at finding completeness without being rescued.........right???
really right???
please ladies right???
so this new realisation and the fact that I am independent individual really might pose a problem for the opposite sex....although really I don't find myself that independent I think I am faking it...lol... I am sure I could be faking it so I don't get a sore butt when I fall off the spinning world....because really I hate bruising my tail bone and my heart...
I think to my own parenting of a little boy and put this thought out there Does society put unknown, unsaid expectations on boys to suck it up and take care of your sister.
Watch over the girls and make sure they don't scrap their knees or always let a girl go throw doors first; its polite. In other words boys should watch over, take care and shelter girls to be considered good and polite and girls that *take care* of themselves always get a label. Tom Boy when they are young, Bitch when they get older and then what crone?? ...OH that's a scary thought.....
What does that really do for us who are kind, gentle, caring individuals that have so much to give but also can stand on their own. I don't want to do life without it being complete but I am not going to cry over spilt milk...I have a large group of friends that shelter me as well I do my best to shelter them. We chat regularly and over all have relationships that work.....I am a person that has life long friends and means it...if you have hit that spot with me you are valued enough for me to respect your future and continue to love you.
However does this new me and my age mean I won't get to enjoy that special someone who keeps the other side of the bed warm, snuggles with me on the couch to watch sports or holds my heart???
No wonder people get dogs but I have been there done that and I am very certain I prefer the two legged version.....
Is this what my friend meant when she answered a certain random question....
What is your special talent? "staying single" (the best answer I have ever heard)
OH NO I didn't think moving to be more a balanced me would mean I would learn a new talent...I dont' think I want this talent.....lol!!
Oh wait a minute...hold the bus.... I remember I still have plenty insecurities to be rescued from..........whew......
OK prince charming please keep riding your horse my direction.
Smile
